Monthly Archives: April 2020

Ave Maria by Ben Shapiro


I am not a violin player or fan of its music.  In addition, I am not Jewish I am Cuban.
As most Cubans, I am a also Roman Catholic.  I was even an altar boy back in the old country!

However, probably because my last name is Simon (Simón in Spanish),  I have been mistaken as being Jewish since I first arrived in this country.

In high school, I used to received Hanukkah and Passover cards from my dentist and doctor, never quite understanding why but I did like getting the cards.
I spoke very little English then and was very happy to receive correspondence from anyone.

You see, at that time I was here with just my brother living in my aunt’s apartment at 186th and Amsterdam avenue in Manhattan.
My parents were still in Cuba and would not get here until several years later.

I remember that there was (and probably still is) a Yeshiva University dorm right across the street from us.

That neighborhood, Washington Heights in uptown Manhattan was, at the time, predominantly composed of  Irish, Jewish and Greek families.

Puerto Rican kids lived mostly in Spanish (East) Harlem, which starts around 97th street and 5th avenue and extends north to 143rd street and the Harlem river.

The black kids lived mostly in Harlem, which starts around 110th street (the end of Central Park) and extends north to 155th street. the beginning of Central Park (110th street),  about 30 blocks south of where I used to live (186th street).
We all went to the same high school, George Washington High School.

While in high school, the Irish kids never thought I was Irish (I wonder why?), but the Jewish kids thought I was Jewish because of my last name.
I also think that my wife, a Jewish girl herself, only agreed to marry me because of my last name.

Greek kids thought I was Greek because of the way I looked then and could not figure out why my last name wasn’t Kalogeropoulos or Stefanopoulos or Papachristodoulopoulos or anything ending with poulos.
Good thing because I would have been able to spell my last name then nor could I now.

Having lived in a communist country for a few years, I know what it is to live with no freedom of expression.  You do not know how precious liberty is until you lose it.

You should now that politically, I am a conservative.
There are very few things worse than not being able to speak your mind or told what to think and say.

The reason I have told you a little about myself, is you should understand that I am not posting the video below because I am Jewish or because I am a conservative, like the performer.  He is however, one of the brightest individuals I have ever encountered.
I am posting it because it is beautiful music.

Ave Maria – Performed by a nice Jewish boy.

Ben Shapiro Performs Ave Maria

On a Lighter Note…


Coming soon after Mother’s Day, flowerSoft 2020!

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The same flowerSoft you love but with a pretty facade and lots of new features.
Most notable of which are the “Delivery Time Slots” and the “Non-Cash Adjustments” .

flowerSoft 2020, not just another pretty face.

A little quarantine humor


Social Distancing Report

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter/Passover  —– The Living Room or The Bedroom

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog….. we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine…..will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under